Friday, March 26, 2010

Nuh-Unh, YOU Suck

I had about four different subjects I started to write about tonight, but I lost interest in each and every one about midway through. Maybe I should have kept them all and this could have been the best short-attention-span-theatre-post of all time.

But no, didn’t want to … I may yet finish one of those thoughts and subsequently treat you to the BESTEST POST EVER. You don’t know … could happen!

Anyway, so I’ve got pretty much nothing. I only made it into the plant for the 8am morning meeting once this week, due to an extreme inability to get my shit together before what feels like noon but is actually between 8am and 9am, when I’ve finally left my driveway.

So it’s kind of perfect that I’m facilitating these meetings next week and will have to leave my house no later than 6:45am in order to ensure I’m set up in time for the staff arrival. This means I’ll have to either shower the night before or get up no later than 5:30am all next week (because of that thing where I can’t bring myself to leave the house without having showered).


I am NOT a morning person, people!! Which is a little weird because Mom and (especially) Dad are, so shouldn’t I at least sometimes wake up early? Yeah, never happens. Well, that’s a slight exaggeration … I do wake up, but only to roll over, sigh heavily, and fall right back to sleep. Luscious, glorious sleep.

I got into a debate with a peer over my wicked awesome poem this week … he wanted to know why I was so down on Bush if I’m such a conservative and I was all, “Hunh wha? That’s not about Bush, you moron … it’s about Obama forcing his agenda!”

And he was all, “What, are you stupid?!? It’s about sending our troops into Iraq, dumbass.”

And then I was all, “Yeah, because Dylan freaking Thomas KNEW that was gonna happen a BILLION YEARS AGO WHEN HE WROTE IT … shitheel.”

And then he cried.


And then I punched him until he cried.

Oh, get over it, that’s a joke, too … but I did have to explain that it’s POETRY, so we both interpreted it correctly. And he went off on this hippy-hippy-freak tangent and I lost consciousness due to moral and intellectual superiority (mine), and just came out of the moral and intellectual superiority induced coma a couple minutes ago.

And now Briggsy has climbed up in my lap and I am outta here because it’s kind of a pain typing with only one hand while the other puts the pats on him. Briggsybadoodle, otherwise known as Savior of the Webiverse.

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