The Crack of WHAT?!?

Yeah, so my alarm (otherwise known as the-first-thing-I-want-to-destroy-daily), chose to jar me out of a sound sleep at 5:30am this morning. Five. THIRTY. Aye. Emm.

The only folk awake at that hour are people who CLEARLY have no clue as to the luscious glory that is sleeping. In a toasty warm bed. Wrapped in the softest of flannel sheets. Snuggled up to whichever warm body suits (last might it was Maddie, aka ‘furnace-cat’ … she of the fully-charged ever-running purrbox).

But then … the alarm. Ranks right up there with that Bastard RA. For real. On a scale, they stay flat level. Pish.

So anyway, I have to then listen to this thing beep-bellow at me from across the room (where it is located to ensure I absolutely must stumble out of bed to shut it down) until I can get over there. Across the room. In the dark. With my eyes all squinty trying to figure out which button it is, which is it, which freaking button could it be, OH MY GOODNESS SHUT IT OFF SHUT IT OFF SHUT IT OFF!!!!

Phew! Got it. Climb back into bed. But no! Can’t. And not because I have to get up and get ready for work, OH, NO! I’ve been known to put that off for an hour or so extra sleep. But rather because the girls are bounding up and down the hallway outside the bedroom door, snorting in their glee to get out.

I couldn’t fall back to sleep if I wanted to before letting them out; it’s aurally impossible with those two. So I have to go let them out. Where they wait until I’m in the shower to apparently notice a blade of grass has shifted in the breeze. And announce it to the world. At the top of their lungs, “Grass! Hey, did you see that? Grass! The grass moved! Hey Mom, come see grass move, this is the coolest thing ever! You don’t want to miss this!”

Which sounds, to the rest of the neighborhood, exactly like this, “BARK! BARK BARK! WOOF WOOF WOOFWOOFWOOFWOOF! BARK! RUFF RUFF! AROOOOOO!! AROODLE-OOOOOO!” Oh, they love my girls, they certainly do.

Most especially at 5:30am. Yep.

Sigh.

And they keep this up until I open the door (after I’ve completed my shower and run out to the kitchen in wet feet, only to slip-slide the last six feet and SLAM into the door. Ow.), which is their signal to sit and grin their magnificently happy Lab grins at me. Irresistable! "Who's a good girl, huh? Who's a good girl?"  Mushy-mushy face. Oh, I am so pwnd by these dogs.

I finally get all the morning chores done and head off to work, where I arrive (due to ridiculous road construction) with about three minutes to spare for the 8am meeting. But no worries, one of my buddies had set everything up for me.

I work with some pretty spectacular people, people. Pretty freaking spectacular.