Weekly Idol - Top 10

Maybe I’ve just been spoiled; I mean, this is only my third season watching AI, and the last two were pretty terrific, so I had high expectations. But this crew is like amateur night at the local Karaoke bar.  I've almost completely lost interest.

Here’s how I enjoyed viewed tonight’s performances … but before I do, how impressive is Usher? Wow. EDIT: I watched his performance the next night, and am totally no longer impressed with this kid. Sheesh. And I’m liking Ellen more and more every week. And Kara ain’t no slouch either.

There were three utterly terrific performances tonight, four middle-of-the-road, and three “meh”:

Lee Dewyze, total score: 23. Treat Her Like a Lady – the Temptations. Loved it!

Casey James, total score: 22. Hold On I’m Coming – Sam & Dave. Loved it, too!

Katie Stevens, total score: 21. Chain of Fools – Aretha Franklin. Whoa!

Crystal Bowersox, total score: 20. Midnight Train – Gladys Knight. Not her best, but still very good.

Andrew Garcia, total score: 19. Forever – Chris Brown. Much better than his usual crap. Much better.

Michael Lynch, total score: 19. Ready for Love – India.Arie. Good job, but not good enough to get me back on the Michael train … he’s still a tad creepy.

Didi Benami, total score: 18. What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted – Jimmy Ruffin.  Not her best, but still brought something kind of cool to it by dint of that wicked voice alone. VOTED OFF

Siobhan Magnus, total score: 16. Through the Fire – Chaka Khan. Yeah, no good. But s’alright; everybody has an off night.

Tim Urban, total score: 16. Sweet Love – Anita Baker.  Bad all the way around … poor song choice because he didn’t do anything unique with it, and poor performance for the same reason. But he does seem to be coming out fo his shell, which is great.

Aaron Kelly, total score: 15. Ain’t No Sunshine – Bill Withers. Ugh. You know who’s done this better? Almost American Idol prior to tonight, but most especially Kris Allen … from just last year.

Meaning it will prolly be Tim who’s voted off this week, although based on tonight alone I’m thinking it should be Aaron (I know! I’m a HORRIBLE human being, and a big meanie to boot).  My overall rankings to date go like this (in case you were desperate to know):

1. Lee
2. Siobhan
3. Didi & Crystal
4. Michael
5. Casey
6. Katie
7. Aaron
8. Andrew
9. Tim

The Crack of WHAT?!?

Yeah, so my alarm (otherwise known as the-first-thing-I-want-to-destroy-daily), chose to jar me out of a sound sleep at 5:30am this morning. Five. THIRTY. Aye. Emm.

The only folk awake at that hour are people who CLEARLY have no clue as to the luscious glory that is sleeping. In a toasty warm bed. Wrapped in the softest of flannel sheets. Snuggled up to whichever warm body suits (last might it was Maddie, aka ‘furnace-cat’ … she of the fully-charged ever-running purrbox).

But then … the alarm. Ranks right up there with that Bastard RA. For real. On a scale, they stay flat level. Pish.

So anyway, I have to then listen to this thing beep-bellow at me from across the room (where it is located to ensure I absolutely must stumble out of bed to shut it down) until I can get over there. Across the room. In the dark. With my eyes all squinty trying to figure out which button it is, which is it, which freaking button could it be, OH MY GOODNESS SHUT IT OFF SHUT IT OFF SHUT IT OFF!!!!

Phew! Got it. Climb back into bed. But no! Can’t. And not because I have to get up and get ready for work, OH, NO! I’ve been known to put that off for an hour or so extra sleep. But rather because the girls are bounding up and down the hallway outside the bedroom door, snorting in their glee to get out.

I couldn’t fall back to sleep if I wanted to before letting them out; it’s aurally impossible with those two. So I have to go let them out. Where they wait until I’m in the shower to apparently notice a blade of grass has shifted in the breeze. And announce it to the world. At the top of their lungs, “Grass! Hey, did you see that? Grass! The grass moved! Hey Mom, come see grass move, this is the coolest thing ever! You don’t want to miss this!”

Which sounds, to the rest of the neighborhood, exactly like this, “BARK! BARK BARK! WOOF WOOF WOOFWOOFWOOFWOOF! BARK! RUFF RUFF! AROOOOOO!! AROODLE-OOOOOO!” Oh, they love my girls, they certainly do.

Most especially at 5:30am. Yep.

Sigh.

And they keep this up until I open the door (after I’ve completed my shower and run out to the kitchen in wet feet, only to slip-slide the last six feet and SLAM into the door. Ow.), which is their signal to sit and grin their magnificently happy Lab grins at me. Irresistable! "Who's a good girl, huh? Who's a good girl?"  Mushy-mushy face. Oh, I am so pwnd by these dogs.

I finally get all the morning chores done and head off to work, where I arrive (due to ridiculous road construction) with about three minutes to spare for the 8am meeting. But no worries, one of my buddies had set everything up for me.

I work with some pretty spectacular people, people. Pretty freaking spectacular.

Oh, no! It's Raining Again!

i opened my eyes and looked up at the rain,
and it dripped in my head and flowed into my brain,
and all that i hear as i lie in my bed
is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.
i step very softly, i walk very slow,
i can't do a handstand ... i might overflow.
so pardon the wild crazy thing i just said ...
i'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

"rain" by shel silverstein

Nuh-Unh, YOU Suck

I had about four different subjects I started to write about tonight, but I lost interest in each and every one about midway through. Maybe I should have kept them all and this could have been the best short-attention-span-theatre-post of all time.

But no, didn’t want to … I may yet finish one of those thoughts and subsequently treat you to the BESTEST POST EVER. You don’t know … could happen!

Anyway, so I’ve got pretty much nothing. I only made it into the plant for the 8am morning meeting once this week, due to an extreme inability to get my shit together before what feels like noon but is actually between 8am and 9am, when I’ve finally left my driveway.

So it’s kind of perfect that I’m facilitating these meetings next week and will have to leave my house no later than 6:45am in order to ensure I’m set up in time for the staff arrival. This means I’ll have to either shower the night before or get up no later than 5:30am all next week (because of that thing where I can’t bring myself to leave the house without having showered).

Fah-hah-haaack!

I am NOT a morning person, people!! Which is a little weird because Mom and (especially) Dad are, so shouldn’t I at least sometimes wake up early? Yeah, never happens. Well, that’s a slight exaggeration … I do wake up, but only to roll over, sigh heavily, and fall right back to sleep. Luscious, glorious sleep.

I got into a debate with a peer over my wicked awesome poem this week … he wanted to know why I was so down on Bush if I’m such a conservative and I was all, “Hunh wha? That’s not about Bush, you moron … it’s about Obama forcing his agenda!”

And he was all, “What, are you stupid?!? It’s about sending our troops into Iraq, dumbass.”

And then I was all, “Yeah, because Dylan freaking Thomas KNEW that was gonna happen a BILLION YEARS AGO WHEN HE WROTE IT … shitheel.”

And then he cried.

Kidding!

And then I punched him until he cried.

Oh, get over it, that’s a joke, too … but I did have to explain that it’s POETRY, so we both interpreted it correctly. And he went off on this hippy-hippy-freak tangent and I lost consciousness due to moral and intellectual superiority (mine), and just came out of the moral and intellectual superiority induced coma a couple minutes ago.

And now Briggsy has climbed up in my lap and I am outta here because it’s kind of a pain typing with only one hand while the other puts the pats on him. Briggsybadoodle, otherwise known as Savior of the Webiverse.

Anticipation is Nothing Like Catsup, People

I am so ready for Spring weather. I know that technically it already IS Spring ... but I want the weather. The weather that is so nice I can leave my windows open 24x7 … lovely!

I miss that. There’s only a few weeks of the year when I can do it … the rest of the time is too hot, cold, or wet. Meh. I AM JONESING FOR OPEN WINDOWS.

I’ve been thinking lately that I’m kind of done with the Midwest. Not that there’s anything wrong with the Midwest … it’s quite lovely in many ways … but being able to have the house wide open to the elements for three weeks of the year is not one of them. Nor is the fact that its about a million bajillion gazillion miles away from Home … and for the past couple years I have REALLY wanted to go back home.

I also know that if I hadn’t come out here when I did, pretty much on an impulse, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t have a college degree. I wouldn’t have met some of the finest folk I’ve ever known. I would never have joined a dart league or played in the Nationals in Las Vegas. I probably wouldn’t be a homeowner. I definitely wouldn’t have the girls. I wouldn’t have Dr’s Wendland or Box, who are just plain incredible and God-sends in their own rights. I doubt I’d have visited family in San Francisco for the weekend during a lengthy business trip to Sacramento (aka “Sacra-demented”)… and San Franscisco is totally worth a visit … the (former?) Presidio alone is freaking GORGEOUS.

But I also wouldn’t have missed out on a large portion of my niece’s and nephew’s lives. And now I have cousins who are having babies that I don't even know. Gulp! I’d be able to visit family more than twice a year (even those six years that I lived 250 miles away I drove back home every weekend). I could hop in the car and be at almost any family member’s house within the hour. I wouldn’t be landlocked, and miss the Bay.

Don’t get me wrong … I know you can’t go home. I did that once; moved back to my hometown for a year between NJ and MO. Too much had changed in the almost decade I’d been gone. I spent the year lamenting all the differences. And there were many, but the worst, the absolute WORST, was that the little island I’d grown up on had filled to the brim with people. It. Was. Horrible!

Couldn’t hop in the car and zip from anywhere to anywhere on the island AT ALL. It was all traffic, all the time. The two main roads that traverse the length of the island were almost always jam-packed, bumper-to-bumper. At least it felt that way. Mer. Blecht.

So. I want to go back home to RI, but not to ‘the’ island. I’d settle for MA, or CT, or southern NH or VT. But the economy … erg, the economy. There just isn’t one. We’re in the recession no one wants to actually call a recession. I don’t know why we’ve become a society that hides from the truth, but we have. There are almost no jobs in New England. I’m actively searching for a job within my company in NJ, because I know the area and could always drive back home on weekend like I did in the 90’s. I’d do it in a heartbeat, but the logistics are cuh-razy.

This, of course, is a pitfall of being a homeowner during a recession: who’s going to buy my house for enough money that I can roll the profit into what may well be a more expensive house in a more expensive area to live? What if I get back there and I can’t sell my house out here? The house across the street from me, which went on the market in October of 2008, just sold last week. Yep, that house was on the market for 17 months. Seventeen months, people.

So anyway. All this because I want to open a damn window. Hurry up Spring Weather … you’re behaving like a 5th season over here, and I’m getting all kinds of antsy.

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

The Hand That Signed the Paper

The hand that signed the paper felled a city;

Five sovereign fingers taxed the breath,

Doubled the globe of dead and halved a country;

These five kings did a king to death.

The mighty hand leads to a sloping shoulder,

The finger joints are cramped with chalk;

A goose's quill has put an end to murder

That put an end to talk.

The hand that signed the treaty bred a fever,

And famine grew, and locusts came;

Great is the hand that holds dominion over

Man by a scribbled name.

The five kings count the dead but do not soften

The crusted wound nor pat the brow;

A hand rules pity as a hand rules heaven;

Hands have no tears to flow.

-Dylan Thomas

Weekly Idol: the Number One Hits

Yeah, tonight wasn’t all that great an Idol night for me. The song choices were pretty much lame … or maybe not so much lame, as nowhere near the choices they could have, should have, been. And it really seemed like almost everyone was as pitchy as a poop deck in a hurricane. But it may be me, and my all fed-upedness with this season, which seems to have craptastic possible future idols, or perhaps it’s that I’m still (yep … still) peeved that Alex and Lilly were voted off, while Paige – for some completely unknown reason – is still here. Harrumph.

And while no one got perfect scores, aside from one glaringly horrible performance, pretty much everyone else was in the same range … ish. Okay, I’ll give you "ish" … but even Crystal, who was fantastic, started slow and was (gasp!) pitchy. Or woozy. Or something not right. Whatever.

Okay, so here goes:

Crystal Bowersox: Me and Bobby McGee – Janis Joplin. Song choice 9; performance 9; gut-check 1 … total score: 19. Started a little weak, then got in the groove. Crystal is one hell of a powerhouse when she’s letting loose, and this was no exception. My word, she’s incredible. I’d like to see her try Cheryl Crow.

Siobhan Magnus: Superstitious – Stevie Wonder. Song choice 9; performance 8, gut-check 1 … total score: 18. She. Is. Freaking. Awesome! I think she’s kind of fearless, you know? And I so love Stevie. Two things that I wish Siobhan would work on, though: 1) smiling all the time (not that there’s anything wrong with that, because she’s having a blast, but sometimes not the ‘right’ expression for the song subject matter); and 2) always starts soft/mellow and ends with a SCREAM. Change it up, girl. You can do it.

Didi Benami: You’re No Good – Linda Ronstadt . Song choice 9; performance 8, gut-check 1 … total score: 18. Didi’s voice has that singing-in-the-shower vibe all the time. And I am so jealous of that. The little twerp. Kidding. Maybe. Great job. Sigh. Yep, I’m jealous.

Katie Stevens: Big Girls Don’t Cry – Fergie. Song choice 8; performance 8, gut-check 1 … total score: 17. Look at Katie, kicking ass and taking numbers! I’ve never heard this song before (I’m not that out of touch, I know who Fergie is … wasn’t she married to Prince Andrew? Kidding! Black Eyed Peas, got it), but I thought Katie was terrific … almost as good as Put Your Records On was. She brought this slight country twang to it, and her vocals were strong. Very good job.

Casey James: Power of Love – Huey Lewis & the News. Song choice 8; performance 8, gut-check 1 … total score: 17. I am totally feeling the love. I have to admit I was having issues with Casey when he gave me flashbacks to that vapid tool Jason Castro; he of the shit-eating grin … but Casey’s the real freaking deal. And, you know, my love for Huey Lewis KNOWS NO BOUNDS!! But … and it’s a small but … his vocals are at times overpowered by his arrangements.

Lee Dewyze: the Letter – Box Tops. Song choice 8; performance 8, gut-check 1 … total score: 17. Yeah, yeah, I know … I have a soft spot for Lee; so sue me. This was fun, and it sucks having to go first. Plus, that voice. Yummy. And the, what? Scat/jazz/nightclub vibe with just a teeny-tiny smidge of Star Wars cantina? Delish.

Andrew Garcia: Heard it Through the Grapevine – Marvin Gaye. Song choice 8; performance 7; gut-check 1 … total score: 16. I figured it out! Andrew has maybe three notes to his entire repertoire. Phew! I feel better now that I know what to expect. Well, apparently I’m the dumbass because I liked it quite well enough, thankyouverymuch.

Aaron Kelly: Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing – Aerosmith. Song choice 9; performance 6, gut-check 0 … total score: 16. Great song. Awesome song. Catches my heart and drags it around every time I hear Aerosmith sing it. Very tough song for an amateur (and many professionals) to sing, though; and unfortunately, although he’s just about pitch perfect, Aaron’s voice is too, I don’t know … pure? For this song. It did nothing for me.

Michael Lynche: When a Man Loves a Woman – Percy Sledge. Song choice 8; performance 7, gut-check 0 … total score: 15. Bite my tongue but I’m getting kind of sick of Michael. It’s all the same, week after week, and not really even that good anymore. Stop with the same old, same old. Gimme some Mustang Sally with soul (real soul, not velvet soul). Right now you’re starting to look like that senior down the hall in the dorm that all the silly freshmen girls hang all over. Bordering on creepy, dude.

Tim Urban: Crazy Little Thing Called Love – Queen. Song choice 7; performance 7; gut-check 0 … total score: 14. Poor Tim; this is such a fun song, but he doesn’t have the higher vocal range to pull it off. Stage presence: check. Low vocals: check. Made me smile, but that doesn’t translate to radio.

Paige Miles: Against All Odds – Phil Collins. Song choice 3; performance 3; gut-check -1 … total score: 5. Just horrible from beginning to end. I want to be sympathetic of her vocal woes, but come on … it’s been weeks now that we’ve been hearing about them. Poop or get off the pot. I get the music Paige likes … I like it, too … but she’s not in the same league as the rest of the group these days. Do I even have to say it was pitchy? Because it was. VOTED OFF

Yeah, I’m wanting Paige out. Nothing personal, but the rest of this crew have been outperforming her regularly. In fact, three of those voted off to date have outperformed Paige: Lilly Scott, Alex Lambert, and Lacey Brown. Maybe even Katelyn Epperly (I know! You’re all “Katelyn?!? You couldn’t STAND her!”) … go figure.

Spring 2010: 0 … Winter 2010: 7 BILLION

Or, alternately, “First Day of Spring MY ASS!”

Ugh. After two days when the girls got to stay outside all day because the weather was sunny and temps were in the 60’s, this … THIS?

Is completely unacceptable!

This is the "Train of 150 Cars", which we get twice daily through town, and this is the snow that was blowing like stink while I waited at the railroad crossing on my way to WallyWorld for Spring Winter Cleaning supplies. 

And this is the same railroad crossing, on the way home from WallyWorld a couple hours later. Yes, I'm aware you really can't see the tracks, but that's so not the point. 

What is the point, you ask?

How about that fact that it's SNOWING the first day of Spring?!? I call bullshit on Spring 2010!

And finally, this is a picture of home, from the sidewalk. I know it's difficult to actually see the house, but the snowfall is way cool!

And right now the drift on the deck is almost two feet, so although I can let the girls out upstairs, I have to let them back in downstairs, because of Boogie's incredible fear of snowy stairs. She is special.

You Called?

This better be good ... I was getting my beauty sleep.

This is What Happens ...

... when I forget to put the bunch of bananas I JUST BOUGHT on top of the fridge ... out of reach of the dogs ... who love to snarf ANYTHING they can find on the counter.  Seriously, they're LabraHooverDors.  And it's not like they just play with the food. OH, NO!  They actually EAT IT!  Crazy.

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

The Wearing of the Green

O Paddy dear, an’ did ye hear the news that’s goin’ round?

The shamrock is by law forbid to grow on Irish ground;

St. Patrick's Day no more we'll keep, his colour can't be seen,

For there's a cruel law agin the wearing o’ the Green.

I met wid Napper Tandy and he took me by the hand,

And he said, "How's dear ould Ireland, and how does she stand?"

She's the most distressful country that ever yet was seen,

For they're hangin' men an' women there for the wearin' o' the Green.

Then since the colour we must wear is England's cruel red,

Sure Ireland's sons will ne'er forget the blood that they have shed,

You may take a shamrock from your hat and cast it on the sod,

It will take root and flourish there though underfoot it's trod.

When law can stop the blades of grass from growin' as they grow,

And when the leaves in summer-time their colour dare not show,

Then will I change the colour, too, I wear in my caubeen

But 'till that day, please God, I'll stick to wearin' o' the Green.

But if at last our colour should be torn from Ireland's heart,

Her sons with shame and sorrow from the dear old isle will part;

I've heard a whisper of a land that lies beyond the sea

Where rich and poor stand equal in the light of freedom's day.

O Erin, must we leave you driven by a tyrant's hand?

Must we ask a mother's blessing from a strange and distant land?

Where the cruel cross of England shall nevermore be seen,

And where, please God, we'll live and die still wearin' o' the green!

-Dion Boucicault

Weekly Idol: Rolling Stones Wannabes

See now, the thing about these weeks when everyone has to sing something from the same group or star or whatever, is that they have to either really rock it exactly like the original, or change it up in such a way as to be contemporary, lively, fun or emotional, and memorable … something I’d want to buy.

Call it the iPod-ed-ness or what you will ... if the performance doesn’t have it, I’m all, “Meh.”

So this week, there was a pretty even distribution of male/female throughout my scoring, which actually means either the guys are getting better, or the first week I watched was a particularly dismal week for the fellas.

Anyway, my hometown fave Siobhan (cuz she’s from THE CAPE!!) fair burned the house down; young’un Alex was superb; scratchy-soulful Lee and Crystal both delivered; and you do NOT want to mess with Didi this week.

Siobhan Magnus: Paint it Black. Song choice 10; performance 10, gut-check 2 … total score: 22. Way cool and WOW with the vocals. Very Phantom of the Opera.

Aaron Kelly: Angie. Song choice 10; performance 10, gut-check 2 … total score: 22. I so want to be done with Aaron every time I hear his song choice because I can’t imagine he can pull it off. Then he opens that mouth and BAM! Oh, its ON.

Crystal Bowersox: You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Song choice 10; performance 10; gut-check 1 … total score: 21. She’s freaking terrific.

Lee Dewyze: Beast of Burden. Song choice 10; performance 10, gut-check 1 … total score: 21. Oh, it IS a big deal, Lee! Loved it. Brought a thoroughly American vibe.

Didi Benami: Playing With Fire. Song choice 9; performance 9, gut-check 2 … total score: 20. Fierce, no? Do NOT play with her. I really liked this.

Tim Urban: Under My Thumb. Song choice 9; performance 9; gut-check 1 … total score: 19. I actually liked the reggae spin, but his rendition had a few too many repetitions.

Michael Lynche: Miss You. Song choice 9; performance 8, gut-check 1 … total score: 18. Quite spastic, but he really looked like he was having tremendous fun out there, unfortunately it did nothing for me. Certainly had no trouble going first, though.

Paige Miles: Honky Tonk Woman. Song choice 9; performance 7; gut-check 1 … total score: 17. Was a little slow, and a touch flat … and the AI folk need to teach Paige how to dress and spend some money on her … but she’s got the stage presence necessary and a voice we should watch out for.

Casey James: It’s All Over Now. Song choice 8; performance 8, gut-check 1 … total score: 17. Turned it into a fun country rave; forgettably enjoyable.

Lacey Brown: Ruby Tuesday. Song choice 7; performance 8; gut-check 1 … total score: 15. Weirdly side-dated from one 60’s-70’s style to another, instead of putting a contemporary spin on it. VOTED OFF

Andrew Garcia: Gimme Shelter. Song choice 6; performance 6; gut-check 0 … total score: 12. Went big, but, kind of flat. Not much impact.

Katie Stevens: Wild Horses. Song choice 6; performance 6, gut-check 0 … total score: 12. A little bit boring in an I-expected-that way; standard girl sings love song. Sweet, but not Katie’s best.

I’ve Changed My Mind

I was going to write a post entitled “Apparently Bullies Never Grow Up” to release a diatribe on both should-be-fired Buncombe County, NC teacher Rex Roland (who has been bullying a 6th grader this year by repeatedly writing “loser” on her assignments), and the should-resign Itawamba County, MS school board (who have pulled the despicable move of completely canceling the Itawamba Agricultural High School prom in an effort to ‘win’ their bigoted stance at the same time they appear to hope to turn over the vilification of gay teen Constance McMillan to her peers, who will no doubt blame Miss McMillan for the injustice of having no prom).

Something about babies and bathwater comes to mind …

But you know what? I’m tired of the negativity. So instead I’m going share a wonderful story of love and sharing that may have begun with an act of stupid violence, but ends in an act of p’awesome awesomosity.

Animal Haven is Kansas City’s largest no-kill animal shelter, caring for approximately 4,000 animals a year, and is very well known to listeners of the Johnny Dare Morning Show, as that’s where Johnny found his little guy, Barger … and we all know Barger, since he’s an integral part of the morning show, and can often be heard voicing his beloved canine opinion on the foolishness that occurs.

It’s not an unusual occurrence for Johnny to stop whatever he’s doing, mid-do, to elicit a Barger response.

In any case, overnight Monday night thieves broke into both the main shelter on 67th and its Lost Pet Center across the street, and did THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF DAMAGES. Major concerns were that funds normally used for the care and shelter of the animals would have to go toward repairs, which included interior/exterior doors, locks, windows, outdoor lighting, walls (sheetrock and concrete), the floor, the safe, and the cash register, among other things.

So Tuesday morning Johnny talked with Animal Haven’s COO Teresa Johnson to find out the extent of the damage (approximately $3500) and to donate $500 to the fix-up … you can listen to their on-air discussion HERE. This started a veritable avalanche of donations from the JDMS listeners, Hope For the Holidays style, and within 12 minutes the full repairs had been covered by the listeners as either cash or in-kind (e.g., materials and labor) donations. I am a member of a club that is so very cool I defy you to find one better.

Then, later in the week Johnny read an e-mail from Animal Haven on-air, where they shared that in addition to the monetary and in-kind donations that had been made on-air, people have been stopping by leaving cash donations at the shelter … to the tune of another $10 grand. And the most telling detail is that the vast majority of folk who’ve chipped in are blue collar working class for whom the donation will cause a tightening of the belt in some other area of their lives … but that doesn’t matter, because our shelter needs help, and we love our pets, ‘nuff said.

WOO TO THE EVERLASTING HOO, PEOPLE!!! TO THE HOO!!

Really America? REALLY?!?

I give you the vote and you do this with it?!?

No wonder we can't get our collective $hit together on anything truly important ... you sent Alex and Lilly home?!?!

I am very near to speechless.

American Idol: Top 10 Bouys, Take Deux

I’m kind of sort of all kinds of embarrassed that it took until tonight for me to think, “Hey! Maybe I should check YouTube for the guys I missed the other day!” This after having waited a couple days for the official AI website to post them, then having become highly offended (well, slightly miffed) that those jagoffs were all, “Check out the videos on iTunes … by the way PAY UP!!”

Yeah, I am that slow.

So anyway, I jumped onto YouTube and got to see my guys, which is awesome, because I’ve been sticking my fingers in my ears and la-la-la-ing around for the past couple days whenever anyone in my vicinity has discussed the elimination, as I wanted not to know until I’d gotten to see the boys for myself.

So anyway, here’s the complete and unabridged version of my take on the boys. Goes without saying the grading system hasn’t changed, right? However, I did not watch Lee, Alex, or Tim via YouTube, having caught them on the original night, so … although my computer has a nice audio set up … I may have been comparing crabapples to fuji apples (e.g., much bigger, juicier, betterer apples).

Michael Lynch, 26: This Woman’s Work – Maxwell. Song choice 10; performance 10, gut-check 1 … total score: 21. Wow … very cool; he’s like a soul ninja. After only two weeks, even I know this guy is the real deal. Loved it. And I guess it shows my age that I'd had no idea a guy even sang a version ... I was all "that's that awesome Kate Bush song I haven't heard in forever!"

Lee Dewyze, 23: Fireflies – Owl City. Song choice 10; performance 9, gut-check 1 … total score: 20. Still love that raspy voice! Very, very cool what Lee did with this (even with a few pitchy moments).

Alex Lambert, 19: Trouble – Ray LaMontagne. Song choice 10; performance 9, gut-check 1 … total score: 20. One of my favorite songs, and Alex’s spin was so earnest! So sweet! Nice job. VOTED OFF

Tim Urban, 20: Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley version. Song choice 10; performance 9; gut-check 1 … total score: 20. I am so done with AI folk pulling this one out of the available song hat; it has been done to death. But I also know it’s a good performance when I have to force myself not to sing along … which happened tonight. Vast improvement over last week. Everyone knows this is a tough one to pull off, and Tim did so well!

Casey Jones, 27: You’ll Think of Me – Keith Urban. Song choice 9; performance 9, gut-check 1 … total score: 19. This definitely made me want more of Casey; I want to see what he can do with an entire song, instead of just a minute. And that one moment where he grwwwld it out? You GO, boy! More of THAT! Please!

Andrew Garcia, 24: Genie in a Bottle – Christina Aguilera. Song choice: 10; performance: 8; gut-check: 1 … total score: 18. I didn’t quite like it at first, but the damn thing has stuck in my head and I’m still singing it … Andrew’s version of it … hours later. I had originally scored Andrew last, but have had to move him up due to my subconscious approval.

Aaron Kelly, 16: I’m Already There – Lonestar. Song choice: 9; performance: 8; gut-check: 1 … total score: 18. This song always makes me well up, this time being no exception. This performance proves what I had hoped … that Aaron can sing the contemporary stuff. Good job.

Todrick Hall, 24: Somebody to Love – Queen. Song choice: 9; performance: 6; gut-check: 0 … total score: 15. There’s no denying Todrick can sing, but this was like watching home movies of his high school musical days on VH1’s Before They Were Stars: amateur performance with a lot of heart but certainly not at the skill level of, say, an Adam Lambert or a David Cook. Queen is just too hard an act to follow without almost supreme confidence. VOTED OFF

In all the guys did much, much better overall than last week; after that fiasco I was seriously thinking the gals were going to cream the boys once the top 10 got together, but now I’m not so sure. It will be interesting to see who got voted off, so I’m going to shut this puppy down, fire up the DVR, and find out for myself … be right back.

Oh, and I’ve heard so much about Andrew Garcia’s take on “Straight Up” that I finally checked it out on YouTube as well. Phenomenal. Kid has chops, no?

American Idol: Top 8 Bouys

Oh! The HORROR!!! But more of that in a bit. It was the fella’s turn this evening, and once again I am treating you to my opinion. You know, cuz it’s my blog! And I can do what I want to!! BWAH HAH HAH HAH!!

Same grading system as last night, and unto the future until I decide to change it up (have I mentioned it’s my blog and I can do what I want to? Yeah, it’s like that, people): song choice, performance, and gut-check emotional response (formerly ‘thumbability’, yadda, yadda, yadda).

Lee Dewyze, 23: Fireflies – Owl City. Song choice 10; performance 9, gut-check 1 … total score: 20. Still love that raspy voice! Very, very cool what Lee did with this (even with a few pitchy moments).

Alex Lambert, 19: Trouble – Ray LaMontagne. Song choice 10; performance 9, gut-check 1 … total score: 20. One of my favorite songs, and Alex’s spin was so earnest! So sweet! Nice job.

Tim Urban, 20: Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley version. Song choice 10; performance 9; gut-check 1 … total score: 20. I am so done with AI folk pulling this one out of the available song hat; it has been done to death. But I also know it’s a good performance when I have to force myself not to sing along … which happened tonight. Vast improvement over last week. Everyone knows this is a tough one to pull off, and Tim did so well!

Andrew Garcia, 24: Genie in a Bottle – Christina Aguilera. Song choice: who knows? Performance: your guess is as good as mine. Gut-check: aaarrrggh!! Total score: whatever.

If you’re getting an inkling that something strange happened here … you’re right on the nose! Turns out the local Fox station’s main antenna suffered a lightning strike the likes of which NO ONE HAS EVER IMAGINED POSSIBLE … else why wouldn’t they have prepared for just such an occasion with, oh, I don’t know, a GIANT CIRCUITBREAKER?!?

In any case, at almost the moment Andrew opened his mouth to sing … the Fox transmission crapped out. So, at last check they were in negotiations with someone who wields ALL THE POWER to see if/when they can broadcast the show so we poor Midwesterners can vote and stuff. Fingers crossed and all that stuff.

And I’ve set up the DVR to record Fox until tomorrow morning, on the off chance they actually do get to show the rest of the guys. Sigh. Well, ain’t that the suckage?

**edit: they lied, those horrible Fox people ... I recorded hours of telly and nary a smidge of AI chatter, let alone a re-broadcast of the show. Plus, they claimed we only missed the end ... really? How are 4.5 performances out of 8 "only the end" of the show. Morons.

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

To Whom it Concerns

To Whom it Concerns,
Darlene's work will be late,
it fell on her pancakes
and stuck to her plate.

To Whom it Concerns,
my Mom made me write this,
and I'm just her kid,
so how could I fight this?

To Whom it Concerns,
I lost my assignment,
maybe I'll get lucky;
solitary confinement.

To Whom it Concerns,
Darlene's great with the ball,
but guys don't watch tomboys
when they're cruising the hall.

To Whom it Concerns,
I just turned thirteen;
too short to be quarterback,
too plain to be queen.

To Whom it Concerns,
I am not made of steel,
when I get blindsided
my pain is quite real.

I don't mean to squawk,
but it really burns.
I just thought I'd mention it,
To Whom it Concerns.

-Joss Whedon

American Idol: Top 8 Gulls

Is it me, or did tonight seem really mellow? Not that there’s anything wrong with that at all … its just weird when almost all the performers go the same route, y’know?

So anyway, tonight was the ladies, and they (once again) did swell … for the most part. And here are my two cents on each. Same grading system as last week: song choice, performance, and gut-check emotional response (formerly ‘thumbability’, but that was a bit confusing).

Crystal Bowersox, 24: Give Me One Reason – Tracy Chapman. Song choice 10; performance 10; gut-check 2 … total score: 22. Awesome song. Awesome vocals. Awesome performance. I love that she was so relaxed and really seemed to enjoy herself. She’s like a musical old soul.

Didi Benami, 23: Rhiannon – Fleetwood Mac. Song choice 10; performance 10, gut-check 1 … total score: 21. Cool! Didi did exactly what she needed to do with on older song; she changed it up and made it hers. Very nice job.

Lacey Brown, 24: the Story – Brandi Carlile. Song choice 10; performance 10; gut-check 1 … total score: 21. Very cool voice. I liked this (except for that one yodel). Definitely downloadable as it was.

Lilly Scott, 20: I Fall to Pieces – Patsy Cline. Song choice 9; performance 9, gut-check 1 … total score: 19. I love this song, and really enjoyed Lilly’s performance. I thought, “Oh, no!” at first, because its Patsy, and no one does Patsy well. So Lilly went up there and did Lilly and it worked! VOTED OFF

Siobhan Magnus, 19: House of the Rising Sun – Animals. Song choice 9; performance 9, gut-check 1 … total score: 19. That voice! Another song I love. Very impressive, the way Siobhan made it such a sultry siren song. Nice.

Katie Stevens, 17: Break Away – Kelly Clarkson. Song choice 8; performance 8, gut-check 1 … total score: 17. Did a fantastic job at the higher registers, but the lower keys seemed almost too much for her – like she had to push to get them; there seemed to be more than a few rough patches.

Paige Miles, 24: Smile – Charlie Chaplin. Song choice 3; performance 7; gut-check -1 … total score: 9. Awful song choice. Would have done much better showing off her pipes with Ronan Keating's "When You Say Nothing at All" from the Notting Hill soundtrack (love that song!).

Katelyn Epperly, 19: I Feel the Earth Move – Carol King. Song choice 3; performance 3, gut-check -1 … total score: 5. For me, when they choose the older songs that have such resonance, they need to really own the performance; that didn’t happen here. I just wanted it to be over. VOTED OFF

Okay, so … overall the ladies pretty much rocked it, except for the two I have as 7th and 8th, who were truly not good. Or maybe that’s too harsh (it is) … it’s not that they weren’t good, they just weren’t as good as the rest. By a long shot.

Because It's Better than a Picture of My Toes

While I have a story to tell about this morning, I also have to share that I’ve been sitting in this chair, at my desk, in my office, for the last few minutes simply collapsed in laughter. The kind of laughter where tears practically squirt out the sides of my squinched tightly closed eyes (a side affect of ROFLMAO no doubt).

And while I wasn’t actually on the floor, that’s only because I didn’t want the glee to end.

Duders (otherwise known as Briggsy) is stretched out on his back, laying along my legs. His rear end is at my belly, and his head is down on my calves (he’s rawther looong). And he is killing me! If you don’t have a cat you may not get this, but the little goober is laying there with all four legs splayed wide open like he’s getting ready to take the Nestea Plunge, so I just had to scratch the bottoms of his hind feet, along the long flat surface between his ankles and his pads.

He. Was. In. Heaven.

Curled up his spine and had his hind legs sticking straight up in the air. He looked like a big furry black elbow macaroni. But the part that made me laugh was when I stopped scratching his feet, and his head popped up with the funniest darn look on his face, like, “You can do that? How come no one ever told me?! Don’t stop!”

Then he lost all interest as the ribbon bookmark dangling from the book on the edge of the desk caught his attention. Well, he is a cat. And I haven’t been able to move since, because now he’s zonked out and my legs have fallen asleep.

Back to this morning, when I almost succeeded in cleaving my little toe from the rest of me via the doorjamb of the master bath. YOWCH!! It still hurts, more than 12 hours later. And yes, said almost self-mutilation came with full surround stereo, only that can’t be printed here … mostly because I can’t remember what was shrieked in the heat of the moment, but also because I am sure … quite positive … that if I could remember, it would be 93% bad language and 7% “I want my Mommy!”

Because at the ripe old age of nun-ya-bid-ness THAT’S HOW I ROLL, PEOPLE.

I am the single most clumsiest person when it comes to foot-eye coordination. I have broken the big and little toes of my left foot, and now have a bone spur from the little toe break; I’ve stubbed both big toes hard enough to lose the nails; and I am forever stubbing the little toes on both feet on the bed legs while making the bed; I once stubbed a big toe so hard while running up the stairs that I was stuck to the riser (eew! gross!). I have learned to wear shoes at almost all times.

Not because it helps with that Bastard RA (although it does), but because my tootsies can’t be trusted not to gravitate, at maximum thrust, toward the nearest inanimate object of more mass. Picture every piece of furniture in my vicinity as a black hole, and now pictures my foot as the spaceship hurtling out of control directly at it. It’s like that. Totally. The USS Broken Toe.

One Massive First AI Posting

All right, people … I am officially On It. You know you've been waiting with baited breath for MY OPINION, and here I finally am to share. I’ve leaped aboard the American Idol train tonight. Yes, I know … little late, but there was that small diversion called the WINTER GAMES!! And I was not missing them.

Back to AI … I’m a little late, seeing as folk already got voted off last night, but I haven’t watched any of this season to date, so am coming in cold with my opinions. This time around I’m going to use a ridiculously complicated voting system that covers song choice, performance, and thumbability (sorry you asked yet?).

So here goes for the top 10 fellas, who performed these gems Tuesday (March 2nd) … my rankings, from best to ‘meh, whatever’. High score wins:

Lee Dewyze, 23: Lips of an Angel - Hinder. Song choice 10; performance 9, thumbs up 2 … total score: 21. Oh, I have found my favorite male vocalist this season! Figures he went last. Yummy. A little pitchy, but I loved it.

Michael Lynche, 26: This is a Man’s World – James Brown. Song choice 10; performance 9, thumbs up 1 … total score: 20. Smooth as buttah … total package, voice, showmanship … my like it.

Alex Lambert, 19: Everybody Knows – John Legend. Song choice 10; performance 8, thumbs up 1 … total score: 19. It’s difficult to sing Legend … he’s so iconic. But Alex did terrific; he’s got his own unique set of pipes.

Aaron Kelly, 16: My Girl – the Temptations. Song choice 8; performance 8, thumbs up 1 … total score: 17. He’s only sixteen?! Whoa. I’d love to see what he can do with more modern fare. Yes, this was a terrific song choice for him, but it’ll be the suckage of all he’s good for are oldies but goodies.

Casey James, 27: I Don’t Wanna Be – Gavin DeGraw. Song choice 8; performance 7, thumbs up 1 … total score: 16. Solid vocals, good guitar work … they just didn’t seem to gel for this performance, though.

Andrew Garcia, 24: You Give Me Something – James Morrison. Song choice 8; performance 6; thumbs up 1 … total score: 15. Seemed pitchy (dawg, I never even knew that word before watching AI!), but he fought his way through it. Showed definite potential; I can’t wait to see what he brings in future.

Tim Urban, 20: Come on Get High – Matt Nathanson. Song choice 5; performance 5; thumbs up 1 … total score: 11. Eh. I don’t know the song, or the artist, for that matter, but I’m sure he did it well (lest he wouldn’t be here), but nothing about it really made it memorable for me. Pleasant, though.

John Park, 21: Gravity – John Mayer. Song choice 6; performance 3 … total score: 9. Ooh, bad. I know this is mostly because I freaking love this song, so if you’re going to sing it, you need to really change it up and make it yours … preferably not by being all breathy and bleh. VOTED OFF

Jermaine Sellers, 27: What’s Goin’ On – Marvin Gaye. Song choice 4; performance 4 … total score: 8. Horrible. VOTED OFF

Todrick Hall, 24: What’s Love Got to do With It – Tina Turner. Song choice 6; performance 2; thumbs down 1 … total score: 7. I wanted to turn it off before it was anywhere near over. If I hadn’t been ‘judging’ this, I’d have turned the channel to see what else was on. Entirely forgetable.

And now we’ll head on into my impressions of the gals, who took to the stage Wednesday (March 3rd) … my rankings, once again from favorite to forgettable. High score still wins:

Siobhan Magnus, 19: Think – Aretha Franklin. Song choice 10; performance 10, thumbs up 2 … total score: 22. Wow. Just, wow. Loved it … little tiny thing with a voice like that? P’awesome. And I fully admit I’ve already got a soft spot for her … she’s from the Cape! Local girl makes good! Yay!

Katie Stevens, 17: Put Your Records On – Corinne Bailey Rae. Song choice 10; performance 10, thumbs up 1 … total score: 21. Great job: comfortable on stage, such a nice voice … loved it, loved her.

Lilly Scott, 20: Long Time Coming – Sam Cooke. Song choice 10; performance 10, thumbs up 1 … total score: 21. Marvelous. Kind of like a cross between Courtney Love, Janis Joplin, and Betty Boop.

Katelyn Epperly, 19: the Scientist - Coldplay. Song choice 9; performance 10, thumbs up 1 … total score: 20. Definite stage presence.

Didi Benami, 23: Lean On Me – Bill Withers. Song choice 9; performance 9, thumbs up 1 … total score: 19. Would have been so easy to screech through it, but she didn’t … good job.

Paige Miles, 24: Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson. Song choice 8; performance 10; thumbs up 1 … total score: 19. Made it look easy, and fun.

Lacey Brown, 24: Kiss Me – Sixpence None the Richer. Song choice 9; performance 8; thumbs up 1 … total score: 18. Great song choice, gave it a personal spin on the live rendition. Neat little bit of a country twang to it.

Crystal Bowersox, 24: Long as I Can See the Light – Creedence Cleaarwater Revival. Song choice 5; performance 8; thumbs up 1 … total score: 14. Nice, soulful voice, not a good song choice … she should have done Miley Cyrus’ the Climb, because she would have kicked it’s ass all right.

Michelle Delamor, 22: Arms Wide Open – Creed. Song choice 3; performance 5; thumbs down 1 … total score: 7. Utter foolishness … wanted to fast forward through it. VOTED OFF

Haeley Vaughn, 16: the Climb – Miley Cyrus. Song choice 3; performance 3; thumbs down 1 … total score: 5. Wrong song choice, flat affect … her sweet vocals and lack of attitude are a little too girly for this song. VOTED OFF

Okay, so … overall the ladies outperformed the gents, and the youngsters did a terrific job of holding their own. Of course, to me they’re all youngsters. CUZ I’M OLD.

And Danny Gokey? Still flipping ADORABLE!

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

The Cloud

I bring fresh showers for the thirsting flowers,
From the seas and the streams;
I bear light shade for the leaves when laid
In their noonday dreams.
From my wings are shaken the dews that waken
The sweet buds every one,
When rocked to rest on their mother's breast,
As she dances about the sun.
I wield the flail of the lashing hail,
And whiten the green plains under,
And then again I dissolve it in rain,
And laugh as I pass in thunder.

I sift the snow on the mountains below,
And their great pines groan aghast;
And all the night 'tis my pillow white,
While I sleep in the arms of the blast.
Sublime on the towers of my skyey bowers,
Lightning, my pilot, sits;
In a cavern under is fettered the thunder,
It struggles and howls at fits;
Over earth and ocean, with gentle motion,
This pilot is guiding me,
Lured by the love of the genii that move
In the depths of the purple sea;
Over the rills, and the crags, and the hills,
Over the lakes and the plains,
Wherever he dream, under mountain or stream,
The Spirit he loves remains;
And I all the while bask in Heaven's blue smile,
Whilst he is dissolving in rains.

The sanguine Sunrise, with his meteor eyes,
And his burning plumes outspread,
Leaps on the back of my sailing rack,
When the morning star shines dead;
As on the jag of a mountain crag,
Which an earthquake rocks and swings,
An eagle alit one moment may sit
In the light of its golden wings.
And when Sunset may breathe, from the lit sea beneath,
Its ardors of rest and of love,
And the crimson pall of eve may fall
From the depth of Heaven above,
With wings folded I rest, on mine aery nest,
As still as a brooding dove.

That orbed maiden with white fire laden,
Whom mortals call the Moon,
Glides glimmering o'er my fleece-like floor,
By the midnight breezes strewn;
And wherever the beat of her unseen feet,
Which only the angels hear,
May have broken the woof of my tent's thin roof,
The stars peep behind her and peer;
And I laugh to see them whirl and flee,
Like a swarm of golden bees,
When I widen the rent in my wind-built tent,
Till the calm rivers, lakes, and seas,
Like strips of the sky fallen through me on high,
Are each paved with the moon and these.

I bind the Sun's throne with a burning zone,
And the Moon's with a girdle of pearl;
The volcanoes are dim, and the stars reel and swim
When the whirlwinds my banner unfurl.
From cape to cape, with a bridge-like shape,
Over a torrent sea,
Sunbeam-proof, I hang like a roof,--
The mountains its columns be.
The triumphal arch through which I march
With hurricane, fire, and snow,
When the Powers of the air are chained to my chair,
Is the million-colored bow;
The sphere-fire above its soft colors wove,
While the moist Earth was laughing below.

I am the daughter of Earth and Water,
And the nursling of the Sky;
I pass through the pores of the ocean and shores;
I change, but I cannot die.
For after the rain when with never a stain
The pavilion of Heaven is bare,
And the winds and sunbeams with their convex gleams
Build up the blue dome of air,
I silently laugh at my own cenotaph,
And out of the caverns of rain,
Like a child from the womb, like a ghost from the tomb,
I arise and unbuild it again.

-Percy Bysshe Shelley

Where My iPod Saves My Sanity

Oh … Wait. I’m almost speechless (so how does that translate to writing?). Okay, Here Goes. Here’s the latest in hunh?

NY Representative Charles B. Rangel shared, "In order to avoid my colleagues having to defend me during their elections, I have this morning sent a letter to Speaker Pelosi (in the words of the Ancient Booer: Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! BOO!!) asking her to grant me a leave of absence until such time as the Ethics Committee completes its work." Hmm … has anyone explained how the rest of the United States defines a ‘leave of absence’?

After Senator Jim Bunning relented on the jobless benefits bill, grateful dems showed their appreciation by lambasting him in the media with the equivalent of placing personal blame on Bunning’s shoulders for any and all financial difficulties people desperate for aid had during the past week … something along the line of, “We could have been here a week ago, blah, blah, blah …”. Really? Oh, grow up, people. You’re supposed to be helping to lead this great nation, not sniping at each other when things don’t go your way. Did none of you have a responsible role model to teach you manners during your formative years?

President Obama, after the scare MA gave him by voting in Republican Scott Brown, wants to force an "up or down vote" that will effectively bar the opposition from staging a filibuster. His reasoning? "I don't see how another year of negotiations would help. Moreover, the insurance companies aren't starting over." What? Oh, and that little gem was followed by this one, "At stake right now is not just our ability to solve this problem, but our ability to solve any problem.” Really? Any problem ever, in the history of the world? So, still going with the whole ‘if everyone doesn’t fall in behind me on every decision it will be the end of the world and IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT, AMERICA, ALL YOUR FAULT!’, are we? Sheesh.

Supposedly he’s on his way here to MO to drum up support. I’d kind of love to go hear what he has to say, but I’m afraid the gas he expels will suck all the oxygen out of the venue and I could die. For reals. Not kidding. Heh heh, well maybe kidding a little.

And that’s about all the politics I could take today, so I turned off the radio, plugged in the iPod, and got me some 7+ hours of solid musical mayhem, be still my fluttering heart. I checked the list,and here are my current top 25 iPod take-me-aways, which I highly recommend, for various reasons:

1. Geek in the Pink – Jason Mraz
2. Babylon – David Gray
3. The Only Way (Is the Wrong Way) – Filter
4. Fake It – Seether
5. Bad Day – Fuel
6. Remedy – Seether
7. Bubbly – Colbie Caillat
8. Touch, Peel and Stand – Days of the New
9. Second Chance – Shinedown
10. Whistle for the Choir – Fratelli’s
11. Hemorrhage (In My Hands) – Fuel
12. In Your Wildest Dream – Reverend Horton Heat
13. Dragula – Rob Zombie
14. Moody’s Mood for Love – Elliot Yamin
15. Hell Yeah – Rev Theory
16. Sound of Madness – Shinedown
17. Wheatus – Teenage Dirtbag
18. Train – Cab
19. So Happy – Theory of a Deadman
20. Trippin’ On a Hole in a Paper Heart – Stone Temple Pilots
21. Bonafide Girl – Shaggy (feat Rik Rok)
22. A Falling Through – Ray LaMontagne
23. Apologize – OneRepublic
24. Cheated on Me – Gavin DeGraw
25. Passage Into Midnight - Omar

Already I Miss the Games

Hello world! Look at me, all full of myself because I uninstalled a couple of ridiculously memory-taxing programs from my desktop and … voila! … I’m running at a semi-normal speed again. But I’m still packing the sucker up and sending it to Little Big Brother for his expertise in compu-doctoring.

S’okay, though, cuz I have my backup work laptop home semi-permanently (e.g., until we need it back at the plant for someone else to use … but since we already have two other backup laptops sitting on the shelf in my office, I’m not seeing that happening any time soon … good thing, too, because I use it, a lot).

So. Where was I? Oh, yeah! I’m sort of back, a bit. We’ll see how the desktop behaves for the rest of the week, and then she/he/it’s off to LBB’s Saturday. My word, I haven’t tweeted in a month! And facebook’s been so sporadic folk have resorted to e-mailing me direct.

But right now I’m kind of going through some SERIOUS WINTER GAMES WITHDRAWAL, people. I am. I really, really am. I keep re-watching the last couple days of events, because I am loath to delete them from my DVR. And I cry eh-hev-vary time Joannie Rochette is shown; then I grin like mad whenever the funhappytimes are broadcast, and even giggle just a little at the temper tantrums, and broader-than-broad flat-out smile at Kevin Pearce’s ongoing recovery (and, yes, lecherously leer at my Aksel). And you know what? The hockey didn’t suck. The final scores? Yeah, sucked a little. But the games? ROCK ON!

Sigh. Guess its time to start watching the new season of American Idol. Or maybe not. I just can’t decide … prolly why I’m currently on my computer whilst recording AI; just in case I decide I don’t want to jump on the semi-pro-talent-show ride quite yet. I’m trying to decide if I should just wait until they get down to the top 10, or if I should check in now so I’ll have a starting opinion on the future celebrities.

I dunno. Maybe I’m just done with AI. Could happen … you don’t know! Oh, who am I kidding? I love me some AI drama.

We’ve had our 2009 reviews at work last week, and mine came complete with Lisa discharging her world-famous “FUCK YOU!” Face. That’s the expression I get the absolute nano-second something sets me off and I’m not in a position to scream invective all over its ass. Of course it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I took it, and my review turned out exactly as I wrote it (I work at one of those places that has the employees write their own review and hand it in for re-review and discussion), so no worries after all.

It’s weird, because work doesn’t know I’m living with that Bastard RA, because I hide it incredibly well, if I do say so myself (and I do, in case you were wondering). But I also pretty much collapse into a sleep-coma on Friday night, with the zzz-covery phase lasting until sometime Sunday afternoon. So, when I was told the expectation is that, as a salaried individual, I should work 10 hours a day, my FYF fair blew my eyebrows right off my noggin and sent them orbiting my skull in dizzying spirals of youcanNOTbeserious.

“What kind of whatthefuckery is this?!” I hissed to myself in thought-speak, whilst eye-measuring my poor boss, unbeknownst to him, for his impending bitch-slap. Poor guy … he got the FYF full-blast, but I didn’t say anything, because I know better than to actually open my mouth when my temper has gone off the chart. So he kind of stammered along for a minute or two then decided we’d meet again later in the week to finalize our discussion.

And it’s not so much the 10 hours a day part, because I did that happily before that Bastard RA moved into my life … it’s that I get SO DEFENSIVE about it having to be in the plant, because I have this system and it works: in a nutshell, what I don’t finish at the plant, I finish up at home.

You’ve heard it before: there are only 24 hours in a day, and 20+ of mine are sucked up by sleep (8), wake-up/get ready (1-2), commute (1+ each way), and work (8+) … so there’s not a whole lot of time left in my day for the rest of it, which is everything else.

However, if I simply can’t finish up what I’m doing at the plant, I login at home and do it there. So C’MON!! What more do you WANT?!?!

And that’s just at the starting gate of what runs through my thoroughly defensive head behind my lovely FYF, folks.

But in all seriousness? Life is swell. Truly scrumptious (see how long it takes you to get THAT little jingle out yo head now … and if you don’t know to what I refer, think Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for a sec … aaaand, HAH HAH!).

Just got off the phone with Big Big Brother, to whom I stated (just because, mind you), “I’m not going to waste my time and energy on a book that doesn’t have a happy ending” to justify my reading the last few pages of books first, to determine whether I’m going to bother actually reading the whole thing.

To which he replied, “Jeez, you’re like, mental”. Quickly followed by an ever so slightly sarcastic, “I don’t read any books that have a ‘y’ in them.”

I call smartass on the Triple B!