This Day?

I am wildly, madly, joyously, deliciously, crazily, deliriously happy!!!

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

Common Cold

Go hang yourself, you old M.D,!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
In not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.

By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!

Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.

Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

-Ogden Nash

My Happy Place! My Happy Place!

It isn’t even remotely funny how much of a geek it turns out I am, and how very (very!) much I love that fact. Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Paranormal, etc. – if you build it, I will most likely come (shut up, loser).

It started with Star Trek, and has expanded to include a cast of thousands, including such gems as the Abyss, AI, all things Alien(s), Alien Nation, American Gothic, Andromeda, Angel, Battlestar Galactica (old and new), Beauty and the Beast, Blade(s), Brisco County Junior, Buffy, Charmed, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Crusade, Dark City, Dead Like Me, Dead Zone, (Star Trek) Deep Space 9, Dinotopia, Dogma, Dollhouse, the Dresden Files, Dr. Who, Earth 2, ET, Eureka, Evolution, Farscape, Firefly (and Serenity), the Fifth Element, FreakyLinks, Friday the 13th, Fringe, F/X, Galaxy Quest, all things Harry Potter, Harsh Realm, Hellboy(s), Hercules, Highlander, the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Independence Day, Invasion, Invisible Man, Jake 2.0, Jeepers Creepers, Jericho, John Doe, Jurassic Park, Kingdom Hospital, Lady in the Water, the Lady in White, Lost, Lord of the Rings 1-3, Men in Black, Mystery Men, Nightstalker, Nowhere Man, Odyssey 5, Planet of the Apes, Poltergeist: the Legacy, Primeval, Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased), Roar, Sanctuary, Seaquest DSV, the Sentinal, Seven Days, Shaun of the Dead, Signs, the Sixth Sense, Sliders, Solarbabies, Soul Survivors, Space: Above & Beyond, Space 1999, Spiderman(s), Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural, Surface, Tek War(s), Threshold, Thunderbirds, Tru Calling, the Village, (Star Trek) Voyager, Voyagers, V, VR5, Wolf Lake, Warehouse 13, Wonderfalls, Xena, X-Files, all things X-Men … well, you get the picture.

And I was so aggravated when Atlantis was canceled, because I flippin’ love that show, and all the people in it; it was my current favorite. The actors were terrific, as were the continuing storylines (e.g., the interpersonal relationships). David Hewlitt is simply the cat's meow.

Then I started to hear about Universe, and how it was going to be “darker” and blah, blah, blah … all I could think was they’re going after the (new) Battlestar Galactica folk, and that is so far from Stargate.

But you know, I’ve been watching (have I mentioned how much I loooove me some Stargate?). And guess what? It hasn’t sucked. Not that Battlestar Galactica sucked (have you seen it? Rock on!) … its just that the two universes (no pun intended) of Galactica and Stargate are, well … universes … apart.

So far, Stargate Universe has deftly managed to keep the humor and cohesiveness inherent to the various SG series, while at the same time expanding the situational storyline to a truly new experience.

Which they’ve managed to reign in from the vastness of “outer space” … yes, its sci-fi; yes, it takes place out ‘there’; yes, it could just as well be a ship in the middle of an ocean right here dirtside, with no power, no reserves, and no way to get outside help in a timely manner.

While I almost always enjoy Robert Carlyle (who plays prickly Dr. Rush), my favorite character by far is Justin Louis’ Col. Young … who is just about perfect (I laugh out loud at his recurring "Lot of work" statement in regards to dealing with Rush). David Blue (young brainiac Eli Wallace) and Jamil Smith (incredibly interesting Greer) are also terrific. And who’d a thunkit that Christopher McDonald could bring such awareness to basically a throw-away setup role? Too bad Armstrong had to die to further the plotline.

Okay, I could go on for awhile, but the most telling reason I know I love this new universe is the fact that I can’t wait for Friday nights, so I can see the next episode; and we’re only coming up on the 5th week!

Dig me; I’ve entered my happy place.

Sigh.

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

A Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears:
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.

And into my garden stole.
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning glad I see,
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

-William Blake

BadiTude Made Better with a Musical Interlude

Hunh. I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately: not very interested in much of anything, fatigued by the end of the workday, bored with reading, annoyed by television, irritated by people, vexed with the “news” (yeah, I did it: I threw the horns around the news), tearing up for the slightest reason (happy or sad), perpetually catching a cold, irked by mouth-breathers in my general vicinity … you know the drill.

But here’s the thing: I kind of dig my funk. I own that baby; my funk is mine. I know exactly what caused it, what has been contributing to its wearing-out-its-welcome stay, and what pulls me out of it for those ever lengthening spans of time which, I expect, will eventually just dump that funk right out of the bed and onto the floor of my psyche, where all my happy little psyche-Brownies will sweep it under the bed until the next time I have to pull it out for a spin.

“But Lisa” you ask, “what pulls you out of a funk?” Glad you asked.

Music. Specifically: loud, rowdy, raucous, bodacious music that I can blast at top volume, and generally do. Either barreling along in the Durango with the windows sealed up tight and the radio howling at MAX VOL, or in my office with the door shut and my iPod/radio doohickey on the desk between my phone and monitor (that I have to remember to turn off when I answer a call).

Here are just a few examples of the tunage I’ve been screaming along to lately (I say “screaming” because, although I wish with all my heart that I could carry a tune, I can’t … I couldn't do music justice if I had Aretha Franklin’s pipes). On a good day I kind of sound like a cross between Brian Adams with a head cold and a raging West Side Story style cat fight (sigh ... a fan I will always be).

• Alice in Chains “Would”
• Beastie Boys “Egg Man” and “Johnny Ryall”
• Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears “Get Yo’ Shit”
• Buckcherry “Next 2 You”
• Carly Smithson “Superstar”
• Cavo “Champagne”
• Chevelle “I Get It” and “The Red”
• Filter “Hey Man, Nice Shot”
• Foo Fighters “DOA”
• Franz Ferdinand “No You Girls”
• Fratelli’s “For the Girl”
• Fuel “Bittersweet” and “Falls on Me”
• Gavin DeGraw “Cheated on Me”
• Godsmack “Whiskey Hangover”
• Harvey Danger “Flagpole Sitta”
• Hawk Nelson “Hello”
• Jason Mraz “The Remedy”
• Jesse James Dupree & Dixie Inc “Rev it Up and Go-Go”
• Jet “Cold Hard Bitch” and “Are You Gonna Be My Girl”
• Joe Cocker “Put Out the Light”
• Linkin Park “Bleed it Out” and “In the End”
• Montgomery Gentry “One in Every Crowd”
• New Radicals “You Get What You Give”
• Pink “So What”
• Prince “Let’s Go Crazy”
• Radiohead “Creep”
• Rev Theory “Hell Yeah”
• Rob Zombie “Dragula”
• Saliva “Click Click Boom”
• Seether “Fake It”, “Rise Above”, and “Remedy”
• Seven Mary Three “Cumbersome”
• Shaggy & Rik Rok “Bonafide Girl”
• Shinedown “Fly From the Inside”, “I Dare You”, and “Sound of Madness”
• Simple Plan “I’d Do Anything”
• Slippereal “The Thing”
• Soundgarden “Outshined”
• Spacehog “In the Meantime”
• Stone Temple Pilots “Trippin’ on a Hole in a Paper Heart”
• The Strokes “Last Night”
• Switchfoot “I Dare You to Move”
• Theory of a Deadman “Bad Girlfriend” and “So Happy”
• Thompson Twins “We Are Detective”
• Three Days Grace “Home” and “I Hate Everything About You”
• The Time “Jungle Love”
• Tom Waits “Heartattack & Vine”
• Tool “The Pot”
• Trapt “Still Frame”
• Vertical Horizon “Everything You Want”
• The Von Bondies “C’mon C’mon”
• Weezer “Island in the Sun”
• Wheatus “Teenage Dirtbag”

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

holidays on ice

steel sky, still sky
smooth as a stone
small as the world, and
large as alone.
vast as the sea, and
cold as a lie
it's always myself that
i see in the sky.

-clare teeling

What's the Frequency, Kevin?

Hey There Kevin,

Although I'd truly like to read the comments you've been leaving on various blog entries, they come across as a bunch of squares and commas (see photo above), and I'm simply not computer-savvy enough to figure out how to convert them to a font I can read.

So, I just wanted you to know that I'm not ignoring you ... I'm just unable to actively communicate with you.

Although I totally appreciate that you've invested enough to feel the urge to comment at all ... that is way cool.

Was That a Piece of My Lung?

Or, the week in review:

Dude, we are so totally supposed to be going to the Kansas City Renaissance Festival in Bonner Springs Sunday ... which we've already had to put off three times ... but the lung I just hacked up from out of the blue may well put the kibosh on any field trippage this weekend (and of course this is the last weekend).

It's been the week from just-to-the-left-of-aitch-eee-double-toothpick, what with five (FIVE!) simultaneous audits at work, and people dropping like flies due to the precursor to H1N1 (none of us want anyone there who may be a disease-spreader, thankyouverymuch). My boss is way cool in that he doesn't want to get sick either, so doesn't have that mentality where you need to come to work even though it's obvious you're contageous and need to get OUT OF MY GENERAL VICINITY.

Remember that peanut butter salmonella poisoning earlier this year? Yeah, well one of our auditors was an auditor at that plant, and has come under pretty heavy and steady fire for not nipping that issue in the bud. So, needless to say they've become much more strict in their requirements, which has had us on our collective toes.

Then, since our guys have been asking for a coffee machine in the main breakroom, we got together with the vending company and ran a water line out and they brought in a hot beverage vending machine ... but in the process removed some microwaves that they then had to bring back later in the day (you haven't seen ticked off workers until there aren't enough microwave ovens at lunch).

Anyway, in their haste to correct the situation, the vending company guys broke one of the big windows in the breakrooom (their hand dolly just tipped right back into and through it).

The poor guy was so down about it, it was painful to watch (when I discovered he'll have to pay for the replacement out-of-pocket I completely understood his dismay ... but isn't that sort of thing what insurance is for?). Anyway, he ran right out and got plywood and double-secured it, and I have a couple glass companies coming out to bid on the replacement.

I called and e-mailed seven different local businesses, and none could get out today. I think its great they're that busy, but sucks when I need a window replaced. Anyway, none of the five I got from the yellow pages could do a darn thing, but one of them referred me to two local glass businesses that I hadn't found on my own, and they ended up being the two that are sending people out.

Which just goes to show you that word of mouth is best. Period.

Yesterday was my day to get new steel-toed boots. I got Doc Martens. They're freaking awesome. I love them. They've already given me blisters on my heels. Still love them. Just kind of wish I got them a month or so ago, so they'd have been broken in already, you know?

Also, apparently I walk like I'm wearing heels, all the time, even when I'm not. Which means I swing my ass. My ample ass. And some of the guys have noticed. And mentioned it to some of tha gals. Who told me. In an office full of people. Yesterday.

So now I'm all paranoid walking around the plant.

Never in my life has anyone ever mentioned how I walk, for crying out loud!

Still. Just a little bit of kind of nice to hear.

We have a new guy at the plant, who introduced us to a new restaurant (can't recall the name just now) ... it has the best sandwich I've ever tasted: sweet and sour. So good. Ostensibly just a turkey sandwich, but on this really sweet bread that actually has sugar granules on it (they called it egg bread, or egg roll bread?), and turkey (of course) with spicy pickles, mustard, and the rest of the works.

We've already gone three times, and it's been two weeks. That sandwich? Hella good.

Nothing much else going on, other than I am utterly exhausted and have huge dark circles under my eyes and will sleep the sleep of the utterly exhausted with huge dark circles under her eyes.

Maybe I'll make more sense tomorrow (after I sleep the sleep of ... eh, you know).

Mark. Hey, Mark. Mark. Psst, Mark!

Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark.

Mark?

Mark!

MarkMarkMarkMarkMarkMarkMarkMarkMarkMarkMarkMark.

MARK! MARCUS!!! MAR-KA-DOODLE-DOOOOoooooo!

'Sup? Remember this? Winter stinks, huh? Heard you got snow today. Mer.

Coming Out the Other Side

It's been a month since we lost Joey, and this household is still crazy discumbobulated. We're muscling our way into new routines but, man, and can I just say? It sucks.

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday (Not!)

Topsy Turvy World

If the butterfly courted the bee,
And the owl the porcupine;
If churches were built in the sea,
And three times one was nine;
If the pony rode his master,
If the buttercups ate the cows,
If the cats had the dire disaster
To be worried, sir, by the mouse;
If mamma, sir, sold the baby
To a gypsy for half a crown;
If a gentleman, sir, was a lady –
The world would be upside-down!
If any or all of these wonders
Should ever come about,
I should not consider them blunders,
For I should be Inside-out!

-William Brighty Rands

Yeah, But I Can't HEAR Anything

So I had my annual eye exam this afternoon, where Pretty Darn Cool Optometrist did all the usual, including the eye dilation thingy-ma-bob.

And more than four hours later my eyes still look like this, only brown. And everything that gives off even a speck of light has a lovely corona.

It's kind of fun ... I'm discovering all kinds of things, like how incredibly boh-ring it is when I can't watch telly, or read a book/mag, or really play on the computer (if you knew how long this post was taking you'd have a laugh; at least I think I'm catching all the boo-boos).

Anyway, I need new glasses, which should go a long way toward alleviating these jangling headaches, mer.

Funny thing (not really); turns out I've been wearing the glasses from the scrip before last ... now that I think on it, I do seem to recall the dogs eating a pair (or two).

Sometimes I am a class 1 stunod.

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

Inscription for the Ceiling of a Bedroom

Daily dawns another day;
I must up, to make my way.
Though I dress and drink and eat,
Move my fingers and my feet,
Learn a little, here and there,
Weep and laugh and sweat and swear,
Hear a song, or watch a stage,
Leave some words upon a page,
Claim a foe, or hail a friend-
Bed awaits me at the end.

Though I go in pride and strength,
I'll come back to bed at length.
Though I walk in blinded woe,
Back to bed I'm bound to go.
High my heart, or bowed my head,
All my days but lead to bed.
Up, and out, and on; and then
Ever back to bed again,
Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall-
I'm a fool to rise at all!

-Dorothy Parker

My Wake-Up Call

Full size spare ... yay!

Broke the rim seal ... boo! hiss!

Thinks for which I thank God today:

• I didn’t kill anyone.
• I didn’t hurt anyone.
• I didn’t kill myself.
• I didn’t hurt myself.
• I didn’t total my truck.
• My cell battery wasn’t quite dead.
• I have a full size spare.
• I have AAA.
• My AAA guy didn’t get killed changing my tire.
• That Bastard RA responds quickly and well to NSAIDs
  

Things I learned today:

• It only takes one lapse in attention to really screw the pooch.
• SLOW DOWN!
• Even a non-impact auto mash-up hurts when that Bastard RA is around.
• AAA Field Service Technician Rob S. rocks with the big giant awesomeness.
  

So I’m be-bopping along to work this morning … not paying the closest of attention on this dreary drizzling dawn. Had my 4WD on for the slickish road conditions. Had just been disconnected from a cell call, only to be cut off by some jagoff who simply had to change lanes in front of me, forcing me to slam on my brakes. Soon as idiot was out of my lane I sped up to get out of the way of the guy bearing down on me from behind, and just kept steaming along into the cloverleaf to go from the northbound freeway I was on to the westbound freeway I needed to be on.

And completely lost control of the truck. Probably happened fairly quickly, but that madrush of adrenaline sure made it seem like it took awhile. First I’m scrambling to steer out of a right skid, then the resultant left skid, back to the right, left again, then finally lost it on the final right skid when my rear end succeeded in swinging out in front of my front end.

It was quite the slalom, bumping up against and over the curb (and who the heck puts a curb on a cloverleaf?!?) hard enough to break the seal on my driver’s side rear tire. So now I’m in the grass of the cloverleaf, looking back at oncoming traffic. Engine never stopped, so I dropped into reverse and swung around in a big ole circle ‘til I was facing the right way then, in a break in traffic, I upped back onto the tarmac. And flub-flubbed a couple yards.

Dang; flat tire. And here’s how discombobulated I was; I called AAA for a tow and she asked if I wouldn’t rather just have the driver change the tire? Well, duh! Yes, yes that’s a grand idea! Sometimes I am a marone. Then she prioritized me because of the danger to traffic a disabled vehicle is in that location.

So, my AAA guy arrives within 20 minutes … fantastic! He can see I’m still weirded out a little, so he proceeded to calmly and clearly talk me through everything he was doing. I got his card so I could give him a commendation (I'm still self-irritated that I had no cash on me, as he certainly deserved a tip); I hope AAA gives their employees something special when they get customer commendations.

Rob S. pulls the spare (one of those under-the-carraige jobs), jacks up the truck (yes, Bill-I am well aware it’s actually an suv, but I call it a truck, ‘k?), pulls the old, places the spare, checks the air level, tops it off, drops the truck, and voila! Good to go. Then, he makes sure I can get back into the flow of traffic without further mishap. A-plus, people! A-plus! (Or should I say AAA-Plus?) With any luck the rim won’t be damaged enough to have to be replaced (it’s just that little strip that’s gone … I think), and the tire will be sound. Fingers crossed!

But I’ll tell you, thanks to that Bastard RA I have aches tonight that I haven’t experienced in quite awhile. Prolly from gripping the wheel so and tensing up while slithering all over the road … I feel positively wiped out. The further into the day I’ve gotten, the more I’ve wanted to crawl into bed with a heating pad and a mug of hot cocoa (to wrap my hands around). I’m about to go Advil it up.

Today was an all's well that ends well endeavor.

Ha! There’s Stupid and Then There’s … Me

Every year my mortgage payment changes a little … not because it’s an ARM or anything like that, but rather because I have my taxes and insurance come out of my escrow each month. So. After six years I realize it’s actually gone up a whole heck of a lot and I’m not happy.

I call Chase (not my original mortgage lender … hey! did you know your mortgage lender can just sell your mortgage to somebody else? hunh. not me … didn’t know until it happened. no biggie, it’s just that i went with a little local place because i liked the idea of it, and they went and foisted me off on a big ole’ national playa first chance they got … so now i’m on hold 8 to10 minutes whenever i call, but i can also look at everything on that there interwebby thang whenever i want … not that i can understand most of it … so its actually a fairly even trade-off, now that i think on it) and they explain that it’s not the actual mortgage that’s changing, but rather my homeowners insurance.

The poor Chase kid actually told me to look into my insurance because it was ‘ridiculously high’. His words, nit mine. Can you believe that?! Dude.

Turns out, after much investigation, that my assbucket insurance agent raised my insurance premium about … wait for it … 56% over the past six years. Fifty-six percent, people!!!

Fifty

Six

Percent

!!

When I called him out on it he says, “I was just going to call you within the next couple months to go over that with you.” Really? Next. Couple. Months? Mer.

Anyway, I get the policy corrected, and assbucket has a check cut to me for the difference. All set, right?

Wrong.

Couple weeks later I get another check directly from the insurance company (this, by the way, is a major insurance company … MAJOR) for the rest of the balance. Wait a minute! If my original (bad) policy was $A, and the new one is $B, and $A minus $B equals $C, then I totally understand getting the check for $C … but now also getting a check for $B within a couple weeks? Um, doesn’t that kind of mean I no longer have insurance? Oh, shit!

So I call Chase again and explain the sitch … they have me send them the check for $C, because major insurance company has issued another bill for my 2009 homeowners and Chase has paid it out of my escrow account and this check for $C will ensure I don’t end up with a negative balance in escrow (which would just increase my overall mortgage payment, which would be pretty much the exact opposite result of what I was going for in the first place!).

I check every day for a couple weeks and finally confirm check has been applied to escrow. The end.

Nope (and here’s where the stupid comes into play). All this played out at the beginning of 2009. Chase advised me that I wouldn’t see the decrease in my monthly mortgage payment until 2010, because they use the annual homeowners & tax payout to determine increase/decrease in that years escrow, and they had already done it for 2009. Whatever, I can live with that.

So, I go to pay my October mortgage and realize it is 8.7% higher than it should be. WTF?!? Then, because I am nothing if not observant (you’ll feel the sarcasm in a sec), I check back and realize I’ve been paying 8.7% more for four months. Four. Months.

Four.

Sigh. Yes. I know. I know! But still. Just because I totally brain-farted that for four months doesn’t mean I’m at fault. No. It does not! I’ve had a lot going on. Oh, shut up. In Opposite Land this would have been a total score.

Anyway, called Chase, and Cassandra (such a lovely name!) confirmed right quick that it was a booboo of the we-counted-both-payouts-to-major-insurance-company-as-your-combined-new-yearly-insurance-amount-even-though-you-sent-their-reimbursement-check-right-to-us-to-be-applied-to-your-escrow-like-we-told-you-to-and-so-it-increased-your-escrow-requirements-blah-blah-blah and recalculated it so for the rest of the year I’ll go back to just a smidge below the amount I was paying up ‘til four months ago.

Then, next year I’ll actually see that decrease in monthly payment because the huge decrease in my homeowners will post. And don’t think major insurance company is getting away with this, either. Hah! I’m switching to another carrier who is half (HALF) their price! WOO to the HOO!

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

Song

the littlest bird
sang all for me
its song was love
it set me free

sang at my birth
and at my death
it sang its song
with my last breath

the littlest bird
sang in my soul
its song was joy
it made me whole

it made me whole
it set me free
it sang its song
its song was me

-Alan Spence

Word Jumble

Spanakopita

I don’t know what it is, but it sure as heck sounds good. So now I’m looking for a really good local Greek restaurant. If this stuff is half as good as a Gyro? Well then, I’m set for life. And Dave, if you want to point me to a recipe I’m all “yay, goodness!” about the idea.

Stolen from Sundry (take that, internet mores!)

She had questions around the H1N1 vaccine yesterday (speaking from the perspective of someone with a pesky compromised immune system, I am all for it), and one of her respondents gave her a terrific decision-making tool I plan to add to my how-will-i-feel-about-this-in-10 rule (so I guess I’m actually performing a double-steal … good in baseball, prolly not so good in industrial espionage):

1 - What’s the worst that could happen?
2 - What’s the best that could happen?
3 - How often does #1 happen?
4 - How often does #2 happen (get your mind out the potty!)?
5 - How do I feel about that?

Bank of Mom&Dad

Wednesdays on Soapnet: a new television program where each week the parents of a woman who’s sure money grows on trees move in and teach her that, nope, those are just leaves … as soon as my folks see this they’ll be all, “What?!? Someone got paid for that idea? Where were these brainiac t.v. programmers three years ago when we pretty much developed it? Somebody better spell our name right on the fat royalty check that better be on the way.” And all I have to say is, “Thank you, Mom and Dad … you ROCK!”

Regarding Make-Up

When I wear foundation I feel like I think I would feel if my face were spackled. I believe I may be doing it wrong. I’m not interested in learning the ‘correct’ technique for applying make-up (but knowing how to spackle may come in handy).

Roman Polanski

On the one hand there has to be a statute of limitations, right? And do I really want my legal system to spend the money?
On the other hand, the tool drugged and raped a thirteen year old child. A child.
Book him, Danno.

Garbage In / Garbage Out

Seriously handsome tech came out and installed our new garbage disposal this afternoon. Quite the eye candy treat (I refuse to dwell on the fact that I may well be old enough to be his … aunt). So of course what happens? He asks to use the loo. Which I did not have time to give a quick run-through, seeing as The Hotness pulled into the driveway rightbehind me when I got home. Sigh. I can’t win. Even my fantasies engage in the suckage.

The “L” That Flew Away

When I was a kid I asked my Mom two (un)related questions:
“Why do they call it a Health Bar when it’s candy?”
“How come they call it public hair when you don’t want anyone to see it?”

I Harbor Mad-Love for Spike Jonze

(And I have since, oh … a little “Praise You” dance number featuring the Torrance Community Dance Group … or maybe it was poor sweet Conrad Vig “we three kings be stealin’ the gold …”). There. I said it. Aaaaaand … I can’t wait for Where the Wild Things Are. Can. Not. Wait.

So Much Better than Moore

I’m told that if I plan to see just one documentary about the state of the economy I should skip Moore’s ‘Capitalism’ and check out Chris Smith’s ‘Collapse’, which features Michael Ruppert’s POV. You remember Ruppert, don’t you? No? Think hard; anything coming to mind about that dude who foretold this ‘economic downturn’ (e.g., downward-spiraling-recession … um, just where does a recession go when it’s going down, anyway?). Still no? Check out his book ‘Crossing The Rubicon: The Decline of the American Empire at the End of the Age of Oil' … and then scream in frustration that you didn’t know about it when it came out in 2004.

Still Annoyed with NBC

Okay, I freely admit to being a watchaholic (…must … have … television…). No, I will not be joining any 12-step programs. Yes, still mighty annoyed at NBC (and Jay Leno, for that matter). In what world is it better to shut down production (and employment) for five programs and replace them with lame banter? Apparently in NBCLand. So now? If I have to choose twixt watch and DVR and do without? NBC ranks ‘do without’ every time, regardless. That’ll learn ‘em for betraying my vice. Pbbbt!

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

The Wind

I saw you toss the kites on high
And blow the birds about the sky
And all around I heard you pass
Like ladies' skirts across the grass.

Oh wind, a-blowing all day long;
Oh wind, that sings so loud a song!

I saw the different things you did
But always you yourself you hid.
I felt you push, I heard you call,
I could not see yourself at all.

Oh wind, a-blowing all day long;
Oh wind, that sings so loud a song!

Oh, you that are so strong and cold.
Oh, blower, are you young or old?
Are you a beast of field and tree,
Or just a stronger child than me?

Oh wind, a-blowing all day long;
Oh wind, that sings so loud a song!

-Robert Louis Stevenson

Wicked Awesome Poem Wednesday

The Arrow and the Song

I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to Earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to Earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?

Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

RIP Joseph William, 1992-2009

Seven is usually my favorite number. But not today, because it’s been seven years since I’ve had a day like today, which is the fifth of its kind, and I could have gone the rest of my life without it, really. But there you go.

I had my Joey euthanized today. Such a nebulous way to say I killed my cat. My little man, who’d been with me through thick and thin these last seventeen-plus years. Oh, my God … this hurts. I can’t breath. Drove home in tears, pulled into the garage, shut the door, and fell apart. Cried that cry where no sound comes out. Soaked my shirt. Blew snot.

Cried like an abandoned child. Wailed. Sobbed. Howled. Begged his forgiveness. Told him to go find Benny, the last recipient of this toughest of loves from me, seven years ago.

But that time I had my Joey to snuggle, to ease my conscience, to ‘share’ my loss.

I remember the Spring evening I got Ben & Joey; May of 1992 … I picked up my younger cousin Melissa and one of her little friends to come spend the night, and on the interstate drive from my Aunt’s home in MA to mine in RI, we made a stop to pick out a new kitten for me, as my Sammy had just recently passed.

We got there, and of the four kittens available, two were male, black, polydactyls (double-pawed) … we couldn’t choose between them, so ended up taking both. I knew Benny was a ‘Benny’ right away, but we pondered on a name for Joey … he almost ended up a ‘Petey’, but by the time we made it back to my house his innate joeyness had made itself known.

That was the night we were stuck on the interstate in such a horrific storm that it literally brought all traffic to an absolute halt. You could hardly see the taillights of the car in front. I’d never experienced the like before, nor have I since. Dead stop. Due to rain. Rain, people.

Melissa and her little friend sat in the backseat and snuggled those kittens the entire time, not a care in the world, completely oblivious to the eminent death we were courting. I was terrified … and what was I going to tell my Aunt if anything happened to my cousin? Auntie Sue would kill me!

Joey moved with me from New England (a fairly HUGE event, as we New Englanders tend to stay in New England), then halfway across the country (a 22 hour drive he did not enjoy, with his three ‘siblings’ Benny, Maddie, and Annie). Joey was with me when we lost Benny. And Annie. When I bought my first home, and first became acquainted with that Bastard RA, and got laid off after almost 16 years with Ma Bell, and paid off my credit card debt, and finished my college degree, and started a whole new career.

I don’t remember not having my Joey around. He’d play the feline version of Marco Polo almost daily …. mrrowling at me from somewhere in the house, repeatedly, until I called him to me and put the pats on him for awhile. He sprawled in complete ownership across whatever perch he deigned to use, whether it be me, my bed, the desk, the windowsill, or the top of the stairs … the rest of us could just work around him, thank-you-very-much.

Joey has been noticeably winding down this past week, and completely stopped eating yesterday. I spent all day today filming him … mostly sleeping, occasionally talking to me (tried to upload one here, but blogger is not cooperating). Wherever I went in the house today, he followed, then lay down, then fell asleep. I’d try to quietly tiptoe out to another location for whatever reason, but he always followed. I don’t know how you’d interpret that behavior, but I believe he knew, and was saying goodbye in his own Joey way.

I popped him into his crate for the trip to Awesome Doc, and that little shit yelled at me the entire drive, then continued to grumble in my direction at the animal hospital, as I sat next to him with my arm stuck to the elbow through the top of the crate, rubbing his ears, chin, nose, cheeks, head, back, legs, etc … every part if him he exposed to me. And my Joey obliged, practically rolling around to ensure I hit all his ‘ooh yeah’ spots.

We waited 20 minutes for an open room (so much for scheduling a personal heart-rending during a slow part of the day, best laid plans and all), then Awesome Doc gave Joey a sedative, and he snuggled up into my chest and fell asleep with his big ole noggin in the palm of my hand. I thought he was gone then, after awhile, and lay my head on him, but he was simply deeply asleep (to be honest, I don’t think he could have recovered from that point, due to oxygen-starvation, if his blueing tongue was any indication). Then Awesome Doc came back in and gave him *the* shot.

She said not to worry if he spread out, because that tends to happen … but not my little man. Nope. He curled right up in a little ball, gasped a couple times for breath, and then relaxed. Noggin still in my hand. My Joey, my little man, my Joseph William, my Joe Willy Punkaliscious, my Guiseppe Guillermo, my Jobijo, my Bubbaloo, my Boo, my buddy … he was gone.

So now I sit here at my computer, telling you about my boy. And Maddie, my sweet little girl, is ey-yow, ey-yowing her way through the house, looking for someone who’s no longer here.

Oh damn, here I go again with the waterworks. Know what I’m going to miss the most? He’s never going to aggravate the living shit out of me, ever again, by sitting on the floor next to me when I’m on the computer and mrrowling at the top of his furry little lungs with the repetitiveness of a metronome until I give in and follow him out to bear witness to his next goofy adventure somewhere in the house.

I am really going to miss that.