Friday, October 2, 2009

Ha! There’s Stupid and Then There’s … Me

Every year my mortgage payment changes a little … not because it’s an ARM or anything like that, but rather because I have my taxes and insurance come out of my escrow each month. So. After six years I realize it’s actually gone up a whole heck of a lot and I’m not happy.

I call Chase (not my original mortgage lender … hey! did you know your mortgage lender can just sell your mortgage to somebody else? hunh. not me … didn’t know until it happened. no biggie, it’s just that i went with a little local place because i liked the idea of it, and they went and foisted me off on a big ole’ national playa first chance they got … so now i’m on hold 8 to10 minutes whenever i call, but i can also look at everything on that there interwebby thang whenever i want … not that i can understand most of it … so its actually a fairly even trade-off, now that i think on it) and they explain that it’s not the actual mortgage that’s changing, but rather my homeowners insurance.

The poor Chase kid actually told me to look into my insurance because it was ‘ridiculously high’. His words, nit mine. Can you believe that?! Dude.

Turns out, after much investigation, that my assbucket insurance agent raised my insurance premium about … wait for it … 56% over the past six years. Fifty-six percent, people!!!





When I called him out on it he says, “I was just going to call you within the next couple months to go over that with you.” Really? Next. Couple. Months? Mer.

Anyway, I get the policy corrected, and assbucket has a check cut to me for the difference. All set, right?


Couple weeks later I get another check directly from the insurance company (this, by the way, is a major insurance company … MAJOR) for the rest of the balance. Wait a minute! If my original (bad) policy was $A, and the new one is $B, and $A minus $B equals $C, then I totally understand getting the check for $C … but now also getting a check for $B within a couple weeks? Um, doesn’t that kind of mean I no longer have insurance? Oh, shit!

So I call Chase again and explain the sitch … they have me send them the check for $C, because major insurance company has issued another bill for my 2009 homeowners and Chase has paid it out of my escrow account and this check for $C will ensure I don’t end up with a negative balance in escrow (which would just increase my overall mortgage payment, which would be pretty much the exact opposite result of what I was going for in the first place!).

I check every day for a couple weeks and finally confirm check has been applied to escrow. The end.

Nope (and here’s where the stupid comes into play). All this played out at the beginning of 2009. Chase advised me that I wouldn’t see the decrease in my monthly mortgage payment until 2010, because they use the annual homeowners & tax payout to determine increase/decrease in that years escrow, and they had already done it for 2009. Whatever, I can live with that.

So, I go to pay my October mortgage and realize it is 8.7% higher than it should be. WTF?!? Then, because I am nothing if not observant (you’ll feel the sarcasm in a sec), I check back and realize I’ve been paying 8.7% more for four months. Four. Months.


Sigh. Yes. I know. I know! But still. Just because I totally brain-farted that for four months doesn’t mean I’m at fault. No. It does not! I’ve had a lot going on. Oh, shut up. In Opposite Land this would have been a total score.

Anyway, called Chase, and Cassandra (such a lovely name!) confirmed right quick that it was a booboo of the we-counted-both-payouts-to-major-insurance-company-as-your-combined-new-yearly-insurance-amount-even-though-you-sent-their-reimbursement-check-right-to-us-to-be-applied-to-your-escrow-like-we-told-you-to-and-so-it-increased-your-escrow-requirements-blah-blah-blah and recalculated it so for the rest of the year I’ll go back to just a smidge below the amount I was paying up ‘til four months ago.

Then, next year I’ll actually see that decrease in monthly payment because the huge decrease in my homeowners will post. And don’t think major insurance company is getting away with this, either. Hah! I’m switching to another carrier who is half (HALF) their price! WOO to the HOO!


The Common Man said...

I told you that guy was an asshole. You should file a compliant with the state insurance board. Motherfucker. I would like to kick the shit out of him.

la isla d'lisa said...

To be honest I keep forgetting to.

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