In the News Today

Bernie Madoff asks for leniency, gets 150 years. Hunh … bet that kind of leniency he could have done without. Is it wrong that I have about eleven jokes based on his name and how he “made off” with … ? Oh, okay; I’ll stop right there. Except I have to say, “Yay!!!”

Who else is tickled pink Steve Jobs is doing better? I’m so happy, it’s like I know the man or something! I’m a bit peeved with the media (yes, again) over their portrayal of him as using his “tremendous” wealth to get better treatment than others in the same boat, though. Firstly, wouldn’t you, if given the same opportunity? Yes, yes you would … as I suspect you’d yank that baboon’s still beating heart right out of his living chest if your child needed it. Secondly, turns out the only area where his wealth may have made a difference is in his ability to get to a far distant hospitals if/when a liver became available … and last I knew, most major airlines are perfectly willing to help out in a medical emergency. Thirdly, it all seems like media sour grapes because Apple kept the private life of their employee private.

One word wrap-ups on recent celebrity deaths: 1) Ed McMahon; sweetheart; 2) Farrah Fawcett: complex; 3) Michael Jackson: tapioca; 4) Billy Mays: boisterous.

Ahem … this one? Irritates me no end. The Supreme Court has decided that caucasian firefighters who took standard firefighter tests for promotion in New Haven CT, the results of which were subsequently thrown out because no minorities had scored high enough for promotion, were the victims of racial discrimination. Well DUH! People, please … it isn’t racism only when it involves a minority! It matters not; if you discriminate against anyone because of their race, that, my friends, is racism. Ho, boy.

You is goin’ ta hell, missy: a 46 year old moron … er, congregant … at Our Lady of Hope Roman Catholic Church in Westbury, Long Island (NY) snicked cash from the open purse of another congregant sitting in the pew in front of her, during mass. The theft was observed by an usher and Missy Sticky Fingaz was apprehended on her way out. Hmmm, what do I have to say about this? Well, duh! She was in church! Of course she was caught! Fidiot.

FDA weighs options to reduce painkiller overdoses. Here’s a thought: legalize medical marijuana nationwide!!! Seems so simple, no? Even if people did abuse it as a prescription drug, all they’d really do is get waaay mellow and make s’mores.

And there’s a recent commercial on the boob tube for one of the major cellular providers in the U.S. that depicts a couple meeting up with a friend for lunch, and showing off their new cell phones while said friend scoffs but secretly envies. And I thought, wow, how insulting can they be? Now those of us who have a basic cell apparently secretly envy all the bells and whistles … we just won’t admit it? Not bloody likely! I’d shoot my phone if it got such grandiouse ideas. Not really … I’d be pretty amazed in an oh-my-goodness-skynet-just-came-on-line kind of way, but you get my point. Which is that I am firmly in the corner of “Dammit Jim, I’m a phone, not a doctor!”

Okay, that’s all I have for today … be well, see you in a few days!!